Assemble

Assemble is the third episode of Spiderman Resurrection, and the third episode of season 1.

Synospis
Mr. Negative has assembled the Masters of Evil, the greatest super-villain team in the world, with the intention to kill all super-heroes.

Transcript
(At a castle-like building, a team of villains consisting of Klaw, Dr. Doom, Venom, and Mystique are conversing their evil plans. No wait, sorry. It's just regular talk.)

Dr. Doom: {laughs} And so I tell the bartender, "That's not a blob. That's my wife!" {laughs}

Klaw: But I don't git it.

Dr. Doom: Oh, c'mon, man. Fat lady bar jokes are always easy to get. In fact, that is my best joke.

Klaw: Well I was born as a special-needs kid, so I have a disability to understand jokes.

Dr. Doom: {sighs} Whatever, man.

(Venom is then seen staring at Mystique's breasts.)

Mystique: Um, excuse me, do you need something? My eyes are up here.

Venom: I'm sorry, what did you say?

Mystique: Well...why are you staring at my boobs?

Venom: Well, I don't really know. You see, it's complicated.

Mystique: Tell me.

Venom: {sighs} The truth is...I'm gay, and...my homophobic doctor says I need to go straight. I never actually talked with a woman before, so I don't know how to react in situations like this.

Mystique: Oh! Well, let me tell you something. Girls don't like it when men stare at their breasts. It's offensive.

Venom: Oh God, I am so sorry! I just...I just never knew what women thought....{sobbing}

(Suddenly, Mr. Negative appears out of nowhere on his throne.)

Mr. Negative: Gentlemen, behold! You are now my personal team in my ultimate plan!

Mystique: Uh, I'm a woman.

Mr. Negative: Wait, say what?

Mystique: I said I'm a woman. Can't you see my from my boobs and my voice?

Mr. Negative: I thought those were man boobs. Your voice also sounds like a man's.

Mystique: I do not sound like a man!

Mr. Negative: Whatever. Anyways, I have chosen you because you are the most fearful villains in the Marvel Universe; Klaw, Dr. Doom, Venom, and Black Cat--I mean, Mystique. Wait, we're missing one!

(Suddenly, Electro enters the room, exhausted.)

Electro: {panting} Hey, everyone. Sorry I'm late. I got in the middle of a struggle and I had to go to a hospital to treat a gun wound. But it's okay; I'm all better now.

Mr. Negative: {sighs} Fine, just take a seat anywhere you like.

Electro: Ok.

(He then sits on a windowsill.)

Electro: So, uh, this is the Cupcake Club, right? Because my invitation said I was invited to join the cupcake--

(Suddenly, Electro falls off the 2-story windowsill.)

Electro: {screams}

(He then lands on the ground, very painfully. Dr. Doom and Venom then peer out the window.)

Dr. Doom: Oh, my God. Is he all right?

Venom: I think so. {sniffs} You so smell nice.

Dr. Doom: Oh, thank you.

Mr. Negative: Gentlemen, I advise you to come back before you face the same fate that happened to our short-lived member.

(Dr. Doom and Venom then get away from the window and sit back on their chairs.)

Venom: So that guy said he was invited to the Cupcake Club? Because my invitation said I was invited to the Sign Language Club.

Dr. Doom: Mine said I was invited to the Ruthless Rulers Club.

Mystique: Mine said I was invited to the Karate Fighters Club.

Klaw: Mine said I was invited to the Cute Little Bunnies Club.

(Dr. Doom, Venom, and Mystique look at Klaw suspiciously.)

Klaw: What? I like bunnies. They're just so cute and cuddly!

Venom: Hey...I should have gotten an invitation to that club! I like bunnies, too!

Mr. Negative: Silence! All of you. None of you have been invited to a Bunny Club or a Karate Club. Instead, you have been invited to join Mr. Negative's ultimate team of super-villains!

Venom: Well, I would have liked to join the Cute Bunnies Club with Klaw.

Mr. Negative: No, Venom. Instead, you have joined the Great Antagonist Yoonion! We call it G.A.Y. for short.

Venom: Wait...you invited me to join a club that was named G.A.Y....even though I'm gay?!

Dr. Doom: Oh, boy.

Venom: {roars}

(Venom then goes into a mindless rampage, where he smashes lamps onto the wall, throws chairs onto the floor, eats all the complimentary cookies, and throws a bookshelf out the window.)

(Outside, Electro had just recovered from his fall.)

Electro: Ow...man, that was painful. I think I just learned that I can't sit on windowsills anymore. But the view outside is always just so spectacular. Oh, well. I might as well go inside before I lose my membership to--

(The bookshelf Venom threw out then lands on Electro, crushing him.)

Electro: Owwwww.....

(Back inside the building, Venom has just concluded his tantrum, with Mr. Negative and the other villains staring at him in shock.)

Venom: {panting} Oh, God...I--I'm sorry, everyone. I just had too many Red Bulls before I came in. I just...couldn't control myself.

Mr. Negative: Venom, I am so sorry I offended you and your sexuality.

Mystique: Hey! What about me?

Mr. Negative: This isn't about you right now. Don't be selfish. Venom, listen. I'm sorry about the name. We--we can change it to something better. Tell you what, we'll let you choose the name.

Venom: Well, now that I think about it...I think we should call ourselves...the Masters of Evil.

Mr. Negative: Wow. That actually sounds way better than Great Antagonist Yoonion. Very well. We are now the Masters of Evil.

Dr. Doom: Wait a minute. How is that you get to be leader and I can't? I'm the archenemy of the Fantastic Four, and the ruler of the country Latveria! I deserve to be leader!

Mr. Negative: I'm sorry, Dr. Doom, but since I'm the one who came up with the idea of a super-villain team, I get to be the leader.

Dr. Doom: Well, then maybe I don't want to be part of the team.

Mr. Negative: {sighs} Fine, I'll make you secondary leader.

Dr. Doom: I also want a room all to myself. I don't want to share a room with Scatterbrain or Gay Guy here.

Mr. Negative: All right, all right. It's a deal.

Dr. Doom: Ok.

(The villains then sit back in their chairs and Mr. Negative sits back onto his throne.)

Mr. Negative: All right. Now after that entire affair, I bet everyone seems a bit exhausted. Now I'm sorry Venom ate all the complimentary cookies, but the good news is that we still have a whole bowl of Cheetos and an entire box of Coca Cola and Sprite, so help yourself to some of those.

Klaw: I'm actually a Pepsi fan.

Venom: And I like Mountain Dew.

Mr. Negative: Whatever! They basically taste the same! Now, I'll give you a half-hour to calm down, and when I come back, I'll tell you what the purpose of this club is.

(A half hour later...)

Mr. Negative: All right, I hope you enjoyed yourselves, because today will be the easiest day of your lives while you are admitted to this club. This club, actually, is not a club. It is a team. A team I put together for my own goals but for your benefits, too. This team...is going to kill all the super-heroes in the world.

Dr. Doom, Mystique, and Venom: {gasps}

Klaw: {snoring}

Mr. Negative: Wake up!

Klaw: No, Dr. Phil! Don't make me lose weight! {pause} Oh, sorry. My bad.

Mr. Negative: {sighs} With your cooperation in helping me annihilating all super-heroes on this world, you each will recieve $1 million in cash...courteously of my Swiss bank account.

Klaw, Venom, and Mystique: Awesome!

Dr. Doom: Seriously, dude?

Mr. Negative: I'm sorry, Dr. Doom?

Dr. Doom: I'm already the leader of the richest country on the planet. The only reason Latveria is the richest country on the planet is because of my brilliant ideas, so really, I don't need more money.

Mr. Negative: {sighs} All right, how about this; I just take you all out for ice cream instead on Saturdays and Sundays.

Dr. Doom: Oh, ice cream!

Venom: I love Chocolate Sundae Sundays!

Mystique: But I wanted $1 million!

Klaw: Awesome! (shown reading a newspaper) They're making a new Toy Story movie!

Dr. Doom: All right, Mr. Negative. You got yourself a deal.

Characters

 * Mr. Negative (first appearance)
 * Dr. Doom (first appearance)
 * Venom (first appearance)
 * Mystique (first appearance)
 * Klaw (first appearance)
 * Electro

Characters Referenced

 * Black Cat
 * Fantastic Four

Electro's Death
Fell out a two-story windowsill and then crushed by a bookshelf thrown down by Venom.