Dead

Dead is the series premiere of Spiderman Resurrection, and the first episode of season 1.

Synospis
The Green Goblin finally manages to kill Spider-Man after years of fighting.

Transcript
(A building explodes, sending Spider-Man crashing onto the floor.)

Spider-Man: Holy crap!

(He then lands very painfully on his back.)

Spider-Man: Ow, that really hurt! I went inside that building because I got an anonymous call that there was a hostage trapped in there, who was sat right next to a gun in the kitchen. But there wasn't anything like that, except a bomb that looked like a pumpkin, and then it blew up in about 3 seconds, then I landed really painfully here on my back! God, I think my spine is broken!

Green Goblin {evilly laughs}

Spider-Man: Wait a second. I know that laugh. It's the 7-Up Guy!

(Suddenly, the Green Goblin sets his glider on the floor and hops off.)

Green Goblin: Do I look anything like an old dude from those radical soda commericals?

Spider-Man: Goblin! So you're the guy who blew the building up!

Green Goblin: That's right, Web-Head! I faked the hostage situation so I can bring you to this building so I can kill you!

Spider-Man: What? Why do you want to kill me?

Green Goblin: Come to think of it, I don't really know. Maybe it's because I'm a villain, and you're my archenemy that's always foiling my schemes, so I just got sick of it and I wanted to kill you.

Spider-Man: Oh. Well, yeah, I guess that's reasonable.

Green Goblin: And now, it's time to pay the price.

(Goblin then reaches out of his pocket and pulls a gun at Spider-Man's head.)

Spider-Man: C'mon, Gobby! Do you really want to kill me?

Green Goblin: You bet your sweet @#!*% I do.

Spider-Man: But think about it! We don't have to be archenemies! We can be BFF's!

Green Goblin: Hmm...

(Goblin then starts imagining him and Spidey as BFF's. Together, they ride bikes, play checkers, watch scary movies while holding hands in fear, and even sit with each other holding hands on the toilet with Spider-Man taking a crap with his jeans down.)

Green Goblin: Nah, that imaginary flashblack looked extremely gay. Oh well, if you were a villain or if I was a hero, that could have happened. BUT...I'm the villain and you're the hero, so it'll never work! Time to die, hero!

Spider-Man: Please, GG! Don't kill me! If you kill me, who will the Marvel Comics replace me as IGN's top-third hero? Deadpool? {shudders}

Green Goblin: Don't know, don't care. Deadpool would be a better BFF for me than you ever would. Now, I'm tired of all this talking, but before I kill you, I must be the guy who says, "Any last words?"

Spider-Man: Oh, yeah! I've been meaning to tell someone about this dream I had last night! I dreamt that me and Chuck Norris switched bodies, so I was Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris was me, so I became an awesome movie star and karate guy while Chuck was a high school student and a super-hero. And one time, we fought aliens, and they were made out of cupcakes, and me and Chuck ate them all, but we got super-fat, and then we got super-fat girlfriends, and me and Chuck exercised and lost all that weight, and then our super-fat girlfriends ate us, and I woke up screaming like a little girl covered in a puddle of my own sweat. My aunt even had to change my diaper because I peed in it!

Green Goblin: O...kay. Nice story. Well, time to d--

(Goblin's cellphone then starts ringing "What is Love?" by Halloway. He then picks it up and flips it open.)

Spider-Man: Nice choice of ringtone.

Green Goblin: Shut up. Hello?

Harry Osborn: Hey, Dad. I'm at Wal-Mart, and I'm almost done with getting everything, but I forgot the list, so I hope that I didn't forget anything, but I think I got it. But I think I forgot what type of milk you wanted me to get. Do you want me to get you regular milk or soy?

Green Goblin: Soy! Now leave me alone, I'm about to kill my archenemy here.

Harry Osborn: Oh, are you talking Spider-Man?

Green Goblin: Yes, I'm talking about Spider-Man.

Harry Osborn: Dad, before you kill him, can you ask Spider-Man if you can give me his autograph?

Green Goblin: Sure, Harry, I'll do that, whatever. See you at home, kiddo. Good-bye.

(Goblin closes his phone and puts it back in his pocket, then he refocuses on Spider-Man.)

Green Goblin: Sorry about that. Now where was I? Oh, yeah. I was going to murder you. Sleep tight, Spidey.

Spider-Man: Fu--{gunshot}

(Goblin then shoots Spider-Man with his gun, causing him to collapse on the ground, dead.)

Green Goblin: Oh, my God. I did it. I finally achieved it! I KILLED SPIDER--

Electro: Oh, hey, what's up, dude? I heard a gunshot somewhere and I--

Green Goblin: Oh, @#!*%, it's a witness. {gunshot}

(Electro then gots shot by Gobin, causing him to fall to the ground, clutching his stomach, and he attempts to get up, but then he dies.)

Green Goblin: Thank God he's dead. Now where was I? Oh, right! Finally, I have killed my archenemy, Spider-Man! Now it's time for me to celebrate by going to Macaroni Grill and trying out their new chocolate cake dessert!

Adam Warlock: You will not be having dessert tonight, Norman Osborn.

Green Goblin: Huh? Who said that? Was that you, God?

Adam Warlock: There is no God, here. Only me.

(Adam Warlock then flies down to the ground, with an angry expression on his face.)

Green Goblin: Huh. I never knew God looked like a gold-colored bodybuilder wearing spandex.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Characters

 * Spider-Man (Peter Parker) (first appearance; killed by Green Goblin)
 * Green Goblin (first appearance)
 * Electro (first appearance)
 * Adam Warlock (first appearance)

Characters Referenced

 * Deadpool
 * Chuck Norris (real-life)

Electro's Death
Getting shot by Green Goblin's gun.