Awakening

Awakening is the fourth episode of Spider-Man Resurrection, and the fourth episode of season 1.

Synospis
Norman Osborn awakens in the body of Peter Parker, and Adam Warlock tells him that he must become the new Spider-Man to preserve the universe's existence.

Transcript
(At 6:30 A.M., Norman Osborn awakens in his bedroom.)

Norman Osborn: Whoa...I had the strangest dream that I killed Spider-Man and this gold guy tried to transfer my soul into his dead body so I can be him, otherwise the universe would be destroyed and a whole bunch of other stupid crap. Wait a minute...this isn't my bedroom!

(Norman looks around his bedroom, where he finds that the sheets that were once Egyptian cotton where now made of just regular fleece and cushioning. The floor carpet that was once colored dark ruby red was now colored shaggy brown. The wall paint that was once light green was now baby blue. And there was no balcony or liqour cabinet. Plus, there was a whole bunch of dirty clothes all over the floor, a basketball hoop on the door, and posters of that ridiculous band Mindless Behavior were plastered all over the walls.)

Norman Osborn: Oh, my God! I think I'm in a torture chamber!

Adam Warlock: {groggily;} Shut up! I'm trying to sleep!

(Norman turns around and finds Adam Warlock sleeping on the other side of the bed.)

Norman Osborn: {screams}

Adam Warlock: {screams}

(Warlock then falls off the bed and Norman was cowering in fear. Warlock then stands up, moaning and groaning in pain.)

Adam Warlock: {moans} Now that was a rude awakening.

Norman Osborn: You--you're that gold guy from my dream!

Adam Warlock: How many times must I tell you? I am Adam Jason Freddy Michael Charles Xavier Wilma Flintstone Ronald Reagan Google Ivannagodadebathroom Warlock, Supreme Guardian of the Galaxy, Esquire.

Norman Osborn: Can I just call you Wally?

Adam Warlock: {sighs} Fine, as long as I am not called "God", or "Gold Guy", or "Lady Gaga".

Norman Osborn: Where am I? This isn't my bedroom! This looks like the room of a guy who doesn't have enough time to take care of himself!

Adam Warlock: Do you not remember, Norman? This is absolutely not your bedroom. For you are sleeping in the bedroom and body of Peter Parker.

Norman Osborn: Peter Parker? Please! I'm not that stupid little kid.

(Suddenly, Electro walks at the bedroom window and knocks.)

Electro: Good morning!

(Suddenly, he gets run over by a train.)

Adam Warlock: Really? Then look at yourself in the mirror and tell me what you see.

Norman Osborn: Whatever. I am Norman Osborn, not puny Peter Par--

(Much to Norman's surprise, when he looks into the mirror, he doesn't find his wrinkled Willem Defoe-like face; he instead finds the young Tobey Maguire-like face of Peter Parker, which he feels with his own young muscular hand. The dream Norman thought he had was true. Norman was now Peter Parker.)

"Peter Parker": So now I'm in the body of Spider-Man.

Adam Warlock: Yes.

"Peter Parker": Peter Parker?

Adam Warlock: Yes.

"Peter Parker": I can't believe this...NOW I CAN BE A WHOLE NEW, YOUNGER GREEN GOBLIN!!!

Adam Warlock: No! You are not allowed to be the Green Goblin anymore, Osborn! You are to be Peter Parker, the Spider-Man!

Norman Osborn: What are you taking about? I can finally escape all the tortures of adult life! Having to own a near-bankrupt company; dealing with a mentally retarded son; going to the doctor for weekly prostate exams!

Adam Warlock: I understand this may be a whole new beginning for you, Norman. But you are not the Green Goblin anymore. But, if you want to, you can be the Goblin, and with your own theme song included.

Norman Osborn: I can get my own theme song? Let me hear it right now. I am the Green Goblin!

(The song "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper plays, much to Norman's horror and Warlock's amusement.)

Norman Osborn: Okay, stop! {record scratches} So, if I become the Green Goblin, this is the song I will have to listen to everytime I say my name or put on the costume?

Adam Warlock: Absolutely.

Norman Osborn: Okay, I wanna be Spider-Man.

Adam Warlock: Excellent choice. Now, you will be trained to use your powers as well as learn to masquerade as Peter Parker, which is why I hired a long time partner of the previous Spider-Man to teach you. Norman, I introduce to you...Wolverine.

(Wolverine then enters the room, drinking a beer and smoking a cigar.)

Wolverine: 'Sup, @#!*% ?

(Wolverine flicks his still-lit cigar butt at Osborn's arm, burning it.)

Norman Osborn: Owww! {whines} Why did you do that?

Wolverine: You're right, Mr. Warlock. This guy really is a whiner.

Norman Osborn: I have to train with this guy?

Adam Warlock: Yes, Norman. You have to.

Norman Osborn: But he's really mean! And he just burnt my arm!

Wolverine: Whatever, sunshine. You'll have to get used to it. You may have been a crazy psycho villain who killed people all the time, but you're going to see that I'm going to be harder on you than Gordon Ramsey does with his students in @#!*% 's Kitchen!

Norman Osborn: And how are you going to do that?

Wolverine: Everytime Gordon Ramsey's students do something wrong, he yells at them and throws their dish at the wall. But if you do something wrong, I'll just be silent and let my claws do the work.

(Wolverine then picks up a basketball, throws it into the air, and catches it with his claws, deflating the ball.)

Wolverine: Get the picture, sunshine?

(Osborn nods his head in agreement, staring in horror at Wolverine's claws and the deflated basketball.)

Wolverine: Good. Your first order of business is to get that Spider-Man costume out of the closet and put it on. You have Parker's body. It should fit you pretty well.

Norman Osborn: There is no way in @#!*% I'm going to put on that costume! I'd rather take the annoying theme song than look like an idiot!

Wolverine: You looked like a freakin' goblin, and you call wearing a red-and-blue spider costume ridculous?

Norman Osborn: Whatever! Looking like a goblin is better than looking like a red-and-blue spider!

("Girls Just Want to Have Fun" then plays in Goblin's mind.)

Norman Osborn: Aaahh! Turn it off! Turn it off! Okay, okay! I'll put the costume on! Just turn it off!

(Fifteen minutes later...)

Norman Osborn: {in the bathroom;} I am not coming out!

Wolverine: Oh, come on. I'm pretty sure you don't look that bad.

Norman Osborn: I look like one of Michael Jackson's kids! I can't stand people not cowering in fear and screaming at me in this! Instead, they'll be getting their cameras out, take pictures, and say "Spider-Man is the man with the plan!"

Wolverine: You're obviously delusional, Osborn. No one will say that.

Norman Osborn: Are you sure?

Adam Warlock: Yes. Now come out, and let us see how you look.

Norman Osborn: Well...OK.

(The bathroom door opens, and Osborn steps out of the costume into a sleek and repaired Spider-Man costume.)

Adam Warlock: Wolverine...it is your duty to train Osborn in the ways of the spider. I have to go now, otherwise I will miss the newest episode of "The Gilmore Girls".

(Warlock then teleports out of the bedroom, leaving Osborn and Wolverine alone.)

Wolverine: Well, soldier? Are you ready to play hero?

Norman Osborn: Yes...Yes, I am.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Characters

 * Norman Osborn
 * Adam Warlock
 * Wolverine
 * Electro

Characters Referenced

 * Spider-Man
 * Lady Gaga
 * Harry Osborn
 * Gordon Ramsey
 * Michael Jackson

Electro's Death
Ran over by a train.